Tuesday Afternoon [1855?]
My dearest Ben
I got your first – & hear there is a second come to Kensal Green – which I can’t get
till tomorrow – so I begin this without knowing any news – On the night you left I
met Julia (& got the
money all right that day week – & I owe you 18.0 – for interest – She looked not right – but rather
vexed than unhappy – asked me if I knew you were not to write? said “as you never
wrote the sort of letters she wanted to get – such as you used to write from
Australia – Perhaps it
was just as well you didn’t write at all” – I said it was no business of mine you
must soon settle it between you & then the conversation dropped. She said she
should come & see me – & would I let her know when I heard from you! Which
wish she said was “natural.” – I believe this is word for word what passed – She
wrote a line yesterday to ask if you had written – & I posted your first to her
this morning. The first day after you left Fisciano was very wretched indeed. –
On Wednesday I went to Kensal
Green – & Marian & I helped one another. – On Thursday we walked to
Hartesan Green –
where we went in to see Alice
Brown – now Mr Salmon
Tailor’s wife – with 3 babies – She embraced me & wept – in a way
that was quite touching – was most anxious to hear about Ben – told me all the news of all
the family. It was a strange digging up of old times – Next day we went to see
Mrs Brown – that is,
Bellamour – who gave us cake & ale – & made such a fuss over us – And we
promised to go over to Kingsbury to see Mary – whose husband is a
farmer there. Then we went to Willesden – & spent a long morning about there – We walked about
8 miles per diem – & it has done me good – Marian has set her heart after my
going to live about Neasden
Wembly
Wembley
in Kingsbury – & we are to keep an eye on cottages in general. I
paid my rent yesterday – & the landlord will put up a “To Let” at
Xmas
Christmas
– & set me free at Lady day, if a tenant appears – I should
have gone to Kensal Green
again today –
but for a most amazing thing. Do you remember telling me of a dreadful capital discovery you made on board ship? – I made the
same – on Sunday morning – I have had to take to white precipitate
omsinent, & I don’t know what – & make myself a
complete Pariah. Isn’t it seeking: How it were
– I have no idea – I fairly sat me down & I cried – but Bessy consoled & looked after me. –
Now I tell you this fact – because if it befell at Prittlewell you are just as
liable as I – so take care. Things are mending. So I hope to be all right before
long. You may imagine the state of mind I have been in. – I had a letter from
Parker today
accepting his First Wife - for
Jan
January
&
Feb
February
of Frazer – the others still pending. Chapman says if Olive & Head
go off well he will give me a little tin. –
The Little Lychetts is to come
out next month in a
vol
volume
– which though useless will be agreeable. I can’t get on with
John all that
was I can do – which is hard – as I begin to feel pretty well
now.
Bessy is also better. The
house is awful quiet & dreary – & the piano is hardly ever heard –
Detmore letters come as usual – they
have been in great trouble about
Edmund – whose creditors are very hard upon him. – Tuesday day –
Minna &
Marian have been here – they went to
Hervie’s play last night – which they say was literally
“killing” – as everybody was killed – including the audience (with laughter) They
gave me a few dramatic extracts – at which you would have gone into fits –
Marian is much better – & her
hand is free now – only sore – & she can use it but little. – There is no news of
the war at all – no
Sebastopol as yet. – But yesterday there was in
the Times an authentic account of poor
Franklin & the rest
– their remains have at last been found – & various clothes – silver forks &c
marked with their initials – sent to the Admiralty. Their ships were broken up –
& they must have died such by such on land – of starvation – in
1850. – Several of the bodies were mutilated – & it is believed they
actually ate one another – dead or living. What a horrible end. I will send you the
forrold paper as you said – as soon as I know where to send to
–
Marian will send on your
letter as soon as she gets home. – So I shall say all about yourself when I get it.
Goodnight
my dearest boy –
– Wednesday – I got your letter – & am very content with it indeed – I do
believe that everything done is the right thing & that “with the blessing &c”
– all will go well – & you will be quite cured – You must tell me exactly how
your health goes on & your eyes – If you are not satisfied about them – go to
that wonderful man the Marston’s
are going to with Philip – Everybody agrees he is the first oculist in the world – he
lives 3 miles from Dusseldorf – I don’t know his surname – but you might at once find
him – everybody calls him “the Hofrath.” – I believe he is a most generous man –
& doctors half his patients free – & anyhow his fee is only a thaler – Mr
Montalba told me this on Sunday night. I think, if there is the
slightest doubt you ought to go. – I am quite well – thank you my boy - & the capital trouble is
vanishing fast – Of course you needn’t notice it – only mind yourself – which is the
reason I told you. I suppose there is no objection to my sending your letter to
Julia if she asks? – Your
account of Mariabery is very nice. – but I’d rather you were there
than me – Agh! Wetsheets at 5.A.M –. I am venturing so far out of
my
Paria
Pariah
state as to dine at Minna’s today – She will be so happy at your letter – & Marian too. – Everybody talks of you
in the fondest way – & nobody “pities” you but considers you a brave noble fellow
– & believes you will get through all your ill-health as I truly believe you
will. There must come an up after such terrible downs. Things can’t go on for ever. – Mrs Lownsend & Miss Place have both been hoping to
see you – & were lugubrious at missing you. – I have absolutely nothing more to
tell you of any kind except that it is a pouring wet day & the little ghost is
singing in the corner, & I wish Ben was here – & yet I don’t – for you are a great deal better
where you are. Only you must mind & write regularly & fully – under every
possible circumstances – & be sure & tell me all –
likewise – for anything known is better the me Terrible Unknown. –
Now goodbye - & God bless you. – Sister's
dearest boy – I often think
what a many nice happy talks we had which will remain long after the troubles are
quite forgotten – Don’t you feel so too? –
Ever your affectionate
Sister –